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Crooners And Caroling

I love crooners. Seriously, who wouldn't like the way crooners, well, croon? I've been in a very crooner-ish mood lately, thanks to someone very dear. So since I can't find a version of this song performed by Sinatra (the king of crooners), go go Buble:

Everybody's making Christmas wish lists. So far, two people have been asking me about what I'd like for the season, and I've always given the same answer. Nothing. Because I don't make lists for Christmas. Give whatever or give nothing, it doesn't matter. The thought that counts and all that. Bah humbug, I have a cold.

In the spirit of my very un-Christmaslike mood, though, let me make a list of the things that I do not want to get for Christmas:

  1. shirts - Last year being the exception, I totally detest getting shirts for Christmas. Or birthdays. This is like the most basic staple of gift-giving, and it gets annoying, mostly because people usually don't know what style of shirt you like. Or, since I'm a big guy, what size you wear. Unfortunately for me, very few of my family members will read through this blog and know that giving me a shirt for the holidays will most likely result in a secret mental aneurysm.
  2. books - This is weird for me, because I read read and read a lot. But the thing is, except for a select few, people usually don't know what I like reading. I am very, very choosy about what I like. I don't complain when I get books, but that doesn't always mean that I'll read them. And yes, I know I'm doomed to get books anyway; these are better than shirts, though, since somebody's always likely to score a good title.
  3. Gifts with very little imagination whatsoever - Seriously folks. It isn't how expensive your gift is, or where you bought it. The mentality of the more expensive things = more special during Christmas is just pure failure, in my opinion. Expensive birthday gifts, or wedding gifts I can live with. But on Christmas? A well-written poem dedicated to the receiver, a rubber ball, or even a keychain will work wonders on a person's mood and morale. Give a friggin' fish for a change. A six-pack of beer. Or pork chop. An idiot's guide on how to write books for idiots. A lamp.

That said, I will now leave you folks and clear my sinuses with tap water. Honestly, I'm seldom this mean especially during the Christmas season. I just really really don't like colds.


  1. You're right Scrouge. You know, I thought about giving you a shirt sized small just to piss you off but I guess I should give you pork chop since you're sick.

    Haha get well soon buddy!


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