Skip to main content

I Have Murder in My Mind

I am normally a very, very nice man. There are very few things that get my goat, no matter how dire the situation.

One of them, sadly, happens to be bad writers.

I am presently editing the work of a twenty-something excuse for an imbeccillic monkey given the God-given gift of using a keyboard. And, unfortunately, a computer with an Internet connection.

And because of this, this . . . ABOMINATION, I make one solemn promise.

Should the gods be kind enough to provide me with the chance to meet this writer personally, I will smile, and slowly, slowly gut him / her whilst he/she is living in order to extract only the most succulent, purest and most inimicable sort of pain. The most unadulterated scream of pain shall be like the tinkling of little piano keys in my ears. I will smile as his / her blood slowly drains from the body, the ebb of life from it's mortal shell. And just before he/she knocks out from sheer hemorrhagic pain, I will eschew a hole on his / her back and pull out his / her spinal cord.

AMEN.

Because some things just don't deserve to live.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maynilad Water Chronicles: The Clusterf$%#, Part 2

This is the third post in our Maynilad Water chronicles. This time, we will talk about just how inept their record keeping skills are in the face of a massive overhaul in a given area. This involves a technique used by Meralco in high-risk areas called clustering, and is efficient – if utilized correctly. Needless to say, Maynilad has yet to be able to do this.
Post a Comment
Read more

Maynilad Water Chronicles: The Curious Case of the Disappearing Meter

One of the biggest problems I’ve encountered these past few weeks is the inexplicable inefficiency of Maynilad Water. I don’t even know where to begin; this is how impossible the situation is. So I’ll go and separate things into multiple stories. This is the first case in this series.
Post a Comment
Read more

Insult to Injury: the Death of Pinoy Lit

If you're the type of person who has the attention span of a goldfish, can't imagine stories without pictures, and generally are the type of person responsible for the slow decline of intelligence in the Pinoy society, then don't read this. If you are the type, but still venture forth to trudge through this text, then you are a visionary idiot, and any attempts to refute my thoughts will be met with equal - if not greater - force. If you are a kindred spirit, then feel free to trade ideas with me for the good of the written word. These are just my thoughts, not gospel truth. Dissect them, question them there is no right or wrong for those who know. I was never a fan of Butch Dalisay. Wait, let me correct myself - I was once a fan of Butch Dalisay, whenever I read his Penman articles on the lifestyle pages of the Star, but back then, I hadn't read any of his 'serious literature' yet. Which is to say, that I was just reading him as a columnist, not as a writer - ...
17 comments
Read more