The Fat Man Today

Holy schneider. I really can’t express just how excited I am by this season of Doctor Who. A lot of people doubted Matt Smith, for good reason—David Tennant was an AWESOME Doctor. But I just finished watching the latest episode of the new serial, and I was blown away. If there was anything missing, it was the fact that this new Doctor doesn’t have as manic a laugh as Chris Ecclestein or David Tennant did, but he’s still getting into the shoes, so you never know. I mean, he doesn’t even have a catchphrase yet! The critics were right; Matt Smith might be one of the best Doctors yet!

Apparently, when people started hearing rumours about the KFC Double-Down—a chicken sandwich where the bread is made of chicken, and the filling is made of bacon—the powers that be weren’t kidding around. Now, lemme tell you something. Once upon a time, I tried a delicacy from Wendy’s that they affectionately called the Baconator, a monster of a sandwich that hit your stomach (and your arteries) as hard as Ahnuld would have hit an opposing flunky back in the day. The Baconator was really good. If I were an athlete, I’ll bet you anything that I would have been able to use every single calorie in that burger with no trouble at all.  But I’m no athlete, and I felt the hugeness of that burger eight hours after I finished eating it. It was humongous, and it knew how to make its presence felt. Now, here comes KFC with the Double-Down. Check the picture to see just how mouth-wateringly lethal this sandwich is:     Doesn’t it look deadly? There’s suppos...

Profanity follows. You have been warned. If you still feel like reading this, please—knock yourself out. Dear Cocksuckers who (supposedly) Provide me with Internet,   Firstly, I would like to congratulate you for giving me a reason to write the very first open letter in my blog. I have never openly addressed an entity, individual or otherwise, via the worldwide web aside from Twitter because I (used to) firmly believe that service problems are the kind that could easily be taken care of by the said service’s respective support team. However, during the several times that I have called you to complain about the quality of your service with my account, I have experienced the following: Annoying advertisements that SCREAM into my ear. Didn’t anybody ever teach you guys that it’s rude to shout? A service system that CONSISTENTLY times out. Either the agent cuts me off, or your system absolutely sucks. Whichever the case, you guys rock (and by rock, I mea...