Open Letter to Smart Broadband

Profanity follows. You have been warned. If you still feel like reading this, please—knock yourself out.

Dear Cocksuckers who (supposedly) Provide me with Internet,

 

Firstly, I would like to congratulate you for giving me a reason to write the very first open letter in my blog. I have never openly addressed an entity, individual or otherwise, via the worldwide web aside from Twitter because I (used to) firmly believe that service problems are the kind that could easily be taken care of by the said service’s respective support team.

However, during the several times that I have called you to complain about the quality of your service with my account, I have experienced the following:

• Annoying advertisements that SCREAM into my ear. Didn’t anybody ever teach you guys that it’s rude to shout?
• A service system that CONSISTENTLY times out. Either the agent cuts me off, or your system absolutely sucks. Whichever the case, you guys rock (and by rock, I mean you suck).
• Annoying advertisements that SCREAM into my ear.
• A technical support team that is composed of an arrogant bastard and his twin brother who doesn’t even show his face, contenting himself with sitting outside, on his bike, smoking a cigarette. Or mentally masturbating. In any case, he is a disgrace to society.

How difficult is it for me, an end user, to ask for a new radio antenna and several feet of new copper cables? Isn’t that what we’re paying you guys to provide us with? Isn’t that why, for PhP999.00, your supposedly able technicians will risk life and limb to climb up to our roof, replace the radio antenna, roll out a few feet of cable?

If you didn’t think that 999 was a good asking price to require such heroic feats of service (which is what your service technicians apparently consider them to be, after observing the hesitation in your crew’s faces when I asked them to climb up to the roof), then maybe you should have considered that back when you were thinking of providing Internet service in the first place.

To end this letter, I would like to inform you, Smart Broadband, subsidiary of the Philippine Long Distance Telecommunications Corporation (PLDT), that I will be researching for other ISPs that don’t suffer from such HORRIBLE SERVICE. Fuck you, Smart Bro. You just broke the bro code, and will be losing a customer in the process.

 

Sincerely,

Your Ass.