The Fat Man Today

I’ve noticed that I have been staying up late the past few days, sacrificing more and more sleep in order to straighten out the smaller details of work. Right now, however, I’m busy bookmarking my website. In the meantime, if anybody’s interested in buying a new amplifier, or is a typewriter geek, head on over to my eBay page. I’ve got some stuff up for sale. Photos for the curious.

It hurts me to say this, but I think that, while I am still the size and shape of a fully-grown zeppelin, I can no longer claim ownership to the Zeppelin. Just like any concert hall that has seen better days, I guess you could say that the Tiger finally woke up, and the place just had to go.

Okay, I’m not really North American, and I still honestly don’t understand what the big thing about turkey is (I’d really much rather eat lamb), but the reason for giving thanks, I understand completely.

One of the things I dislike about walking outdoors as an exercise is that you can only do it on certain points throughout the day. If you do it too late in the morning, you’re going to get burned. If you do it too early in the afternoon, you’re going to get burned. No offense, Mr. Sun, but you’re one annoying sasquatch. This is one of the reasons I want to buy a treadmill. So that I can walk bloody indoors. Jeez. Guess I’m walking at 4PM later today.

You’d think that after a night filled with incessant, boisterously noisy singing, I’d be hard put to find something to (now, I’m not sure if you get LSS, or if you are LSS’d, so fill in that blank for yourself) with, but it happened.

I envy some of my former writer friends. They have the capacity—some of them even have the time —to write continuously. Now, this may come in as a shock for most of you who’ve been following my blogging history throughout Tabulas, that short stint on Wordpress, and finally, my multiple Blogger accounts, but for the record, for the past two years, I haven’t even had the chance to sit myself down and put a decent new word on any of my short stories.

I need help with two things. Note that these are either-or, but information about both will be greatly appreciated. 1. Where can I buy a cheap, 5 to 6-cup Moka pot in Metro Manila? 2. Barring #1, where can I get the gasket seal in my current 2-demitasse Moka pot replaced? Any help would be appreciated. I cannot stress just how much I dislike percolator-made coffee. On another note: the new version of Windows Live Writer is driving me insane. How much memory does this monster need??

I had a rather odd conversation today with a friend. He was talking about making a Robin Hood – Camelot cross-over, and I couldn’t help but get absorbed into the conversation. Let me explain. Back when I was a kid, I borrowed lots of books from the old school library. Some of the books were hardbound classics, while others were illustrated adaptations made safe for kids. I read every adventure-themed book I could find; my first love was whodunit stories, mystery novels ranging from the light and fanciful to the deep, dark, sombre world of Arthur Conan Doyle (at least for a kid). Then I started running out of those books, and I moved on to reading fantasy novels and novels about the Lone Ranger. I don’t remember most of the books I tore through back in those days, but I know I read a lot. I wasn’t a member of the bookworm club for several years for nothing (it was also an excuse to keep away from sportsfest-related activities; you could hang at the library to hide from the booths ...

One of the biggest problems of writing Pinoy lit in English is the fact that, if you’re trying to paint the actual life of your average Filipino in English, no word in the language can efficiently meet the rough, almost edgy, flow of the Tagalog dialogue. Notice how I didn’t language—proper Tagalog is flowing, lambent, and slow. I was thinking about this the other night, and I couldn’t wrap my thoughts to believe the following lines, had they been written in English: Tumayo ang matanda mula sa palanggana kung saan siya naglalaba, at hinabol ang kanyang anak sa kalye, kung saan ito’y kasalukuyang naglalaro ng piko. “ Hoy putragis na bata ka talaga,” ang kanyang unang isinigaw, kasabay ng batok sa ulo niyong bata, “ang tigas ng ulo mo, lintik ka! Pumasok ka sa loob! Sige na, wag mo na hintaying matuyo pa ang dugo ko sa ‘yo, kundi matatamaan ka na naman sa’kin. Ang tapang tapang mo, pero pag napalo ka naman, iiyak-iyak ka ng parang tanga. Sige! Pumasok ka na sa loob.” I can’t writ...

So I wasn’t able to stick to my end of the bargain. There goes my 100-words-a-day-challenge. But the important thing is that after this past week, I’m slowly getting back into my groove. (a little too late to save the week, but y’know. It ain’t so bad.) Anyway, because I’m at a loss for something constructively complete to say right now, here’s a list of some things I (re?)discovered this week. I’m not going to try and say that these are in any way universally meaningful, but right now, these are the thoughts that coalesce in my mind whenever I’m caught in the bathroom without a book (which is increasingly becoming the case, much to my alarm). 1. Sometimes, there’s a region in a relationship wherein you can’t fill in the spaces with talk, pillow or otherwise. That’s when, just like a good musical sheet, the quarter, half, and whole rests make themselves important. It takes a while to get used to, and if you get too used to them, they’re a curse (just like anything that isn’t take...

The Internet’s abuzz with this study that supposedly sets a baseline (of sorts) for how much you need to earn to really be happy in today’s world. I’m not going to write about that. Lord knows, I’m personally poor enough to be worrying about how to keep happy with what I already have. Instead, I’m going to tell you readers how my day went. Which is unusual, since I never keep a diary, much less try to make a blog post seem like one. And yes, I’m stalling. The idea is that appalling. It’s kinda sad that these days, one of the things that can complete my day is the fact that I was able to inch my way closer to sealing this deal with a potential client. I’m not saying anything concrete, because I might jinx the entire thing, and lord knows that we need as many clients as we can get, but I’ll say this much: I’m rather proud that the details of this possible contract, while not a complete departure from the usual menu served by my firm, is something that we’ve never really tackled ful...

I haven’t been completely honest here lately. Well, I actually haven’t been posting, so that kinda makes the first statement a little bit of a moot point, doesn’t it? But I had a short conversation with a friend the other day, and she mentioned that my recent posts have been more, shall we say, aloof than what I’ve been used to. Which is, I guess, due to a lot of things. But mostly, I think it’s because I’m out of practice. Has life gotten so much of my attention that I’ve forgotten, slowly, how the art of facing a blank canvas? Oddly enough, I do blame writing for my lack of updates. Which is why, from today on, I will try to post at least 100 words every day. Even if all I’m writing about is pretty much nothing.

Back when I was in (and out, and in again) of college, there was this little TV channel that made the circuit in and amongst the universities in Metro Manila. The channel was UnTV31, and one of the more impressive shows was a (possibly) doobie-induced reality documentary called Strangebrew . If you watched TV (and/or drank as much as I did) back in those days, you probably know of this show, and of the characters Tado, Erning (both of ‘em), and the occasional diwata by the name of Ramon Bautista. Now that I think about it, if it weren’t for the downright questionable nature of some of the segments, this show’d be a great tool to get jarheads and lazyboy students to actually learn something, because the vehicular wavelength of the show was something that they could relate to. But yeah, the shows were really out of whack sometimes, and I only realized today that watching an episode of Strangebrew was a good way of unwinding after a long day at work. Not to mention the fact th...

There are very, very few things I find interesting in American baseball, being the Filipino that I am. This is one of them. Taken from the Youtube description: Boyfriend chooses the better part of valor and ducks a foul ball, which strikes his girlfriend, earning him the nickname "Bailer" HOUSTON -- A young female Astros fan got a painful lesson in chivalry Monday night at Minute Maid Park. The woman, identified only as Sarah, was struck on the right arm by a foul ball off the bat of Chris Johnson in the fourth inning while sitting down the left-field line -- a ball that she didn't see coming because her boyfriend ducked out of the way at the last second. "As soon as we got here and I saw where we were sitting, I said 'Baby, we're going to get hit,'" the woman said when interviewed during the game. "He said, 'No, I'll catch it if you do. We just had this conversation and sure enough, the ball comes at me. He j...

Some time ago, I had a Sting / The Police phase, and it all began witn “Seven Days”. I was trying to date this girl via long distance at the time, and the song resonated with me. Not that I had a rival who was a neanderthal, because I only know of one caveman in my life, and he deserves another post altogether. “Seven Days” was originally given to me by a friend I used to jam with back in the days. Being a drummer, he’d given me a record that featured Vinnie Colaiuta, and that more or less started my love interest in the drums, and the Sting-Colaiuta pair-up. See, the thing about Sting is that he’s such a talented man. I don’t think you often see an artist of his calibre. I’ve only ever heard another voice like his (that’s Steve Conte, fyi), and the fact that he can play the bass at varying time signatures while singing boggles my mind. I don’t know about other bass players, but singing the main vocal piece of a title while following the rhythm and the beat is difficult, and I...

Wow. I can’t believe I finished the entire Chuck series in a month. For those of you who have yet to see even an episode of it, check it out. It is pure geek hilarity. And of course, the reason why I started watching Chuck ? Adam Baldwin, a.k.a. John Casey. Seriously. Fun.

Oh man, somebody’s going to kill me for that post title. Anyway. I haven’t written anything in a while. Life’s busy catching up to me. Who’d have thought that 27 would be so hectic? Anyway, I am currently dressed and ready to head out to work, so I’ll keep this short: I am disappointed by The Last Airbender . M. Night, you have failed me. I haven’t gone out to see any of my close friends for a little r&r for nearly three months. Somebody I know is having a pink week. Much to her chagrin. I am drowning in (paper)work. That’s pretty much it. Let’s hope the month picks up from this point on! And just between ourselves, here’s to hoping that modern science soon develops a LEGITIMATE drug that can give coffee a run for its money. Seriously. I dropped to sleep at the office right after finishing a cup of 3 in 1. Either the sugar’s not helping me any, or I have developed an immunity to coffee. Either way, I wish there were a cheap coffee place in the area I work ...

A huge part of my childhood was spent watching cartoons on the TV. Some of the more memorable shows include The Uncanny X-Men, Batman: The Animated Series, Saber Rider and the Star Sheriffs, Voltron, and of course, The Visionaries. Who could forget the Visionaries? But I digress. One of the best parts of growing up during the 80’s and the 90’s was the fact that quality cartoons were produced during that era (some of them were even developed here in the Philippines!). I don’t know what my generation’d be like if we didn’t have the regular Friday and Saturday morning shows to look forward to. Back then, we kids didn’t have access to cable and Cartoon Network, and Nickelodeon was only a two-hour slot on (I think) RPN 9. We didn’t have the luxury of wall-to-wall cartoons, and we had to content ourselves with what we got. And, truth be told, we were generally pretty happy with what we did get. Ain’t that right, fellow 80’s kids? Nighthood’s a gem that very few Filipinos know (or ...

Spent it in bed. Sick. Watched Chuck. Will now go to a meeting in a little bit. At nearly ten pm. It’s a Friday. I should be watching my shows, with a couple of beers with me. Or playing Runes of Magic. Instead, because of this bug, I had to stay home from work. Curses! In other news, I think I may be pushing the bar on microblogging.

Let’s list the things that happened on my birthday (or thereabouts): I became a bit (!) richer. We ate a 20”……pizza. With four different flavors. A new president was elected. Said new president received his first impeachment complaint. Former president lodged a campaign for charter change. Somebody died / killed herself in Shangri-la. Nina bought me a cake.

I remember back when Ondoy was happening. I remember the aftermath. I know people who were affected by that natural disaster, and there’s no way that Metro Manila can take another Ondoy in 2010.     The problem is, you look out in the streets, and very few things seem to be different. There’s still trash out in the streets, the Manila drainage system still sucks, and we’re still very much the hotbed of humanity that we used to be. Needless to say, the government and the people of the metro have done very few things to address the very problems that caused Ondoy to happen in the first place. The only differences? - In Manila proper, there are now waste receptacles in almost every corner. That’s saying a lot. - Whenever it rains, people tend to get paranoid. For myself, I can say that every time I look out from the back of a jeep and see puddles on the ground, I can’t help but wonder whether I should head to Nina’s house, or not. That’s pretty much it. Which leads...

I’m five blog posts short, around 25 articles worth to edit by morning. There was a power outage earlier, just around the time when Nins was supposed to interview Elaine for the practicum. This was a slow Sunday, though. The best way to end it? Find out after the jump. A couple of beers. And a dose of Testostallone. I can't believe how much I'm waiting for this film. It's even got me more excited than the Avatar movie.

If you think about it: 1. I am connected to Manuel Legarda by two degrees (me >son of> mom >teacher of> Manuel). 2. In the same token, I am connected to Mimi Gates (Bill’s mother, yes) via my sister (me >brother of> ate >friend of> Mimi). 3. And (this blew my mind away) I am connected to Queen’s Brian May by seven degrees (me >related to> my sister / my niece >studies/ student of> St. Scholastica’s College >school of> Cory Aquino >wife of> Benigno Aquino Jr. >topic of director> Robert Markowitz >hired as musical director> Brian May). Brian May is cool. Seriously. And it’s amazing what the mind can think of when it is sleep-deprived.

In the Philippines, we value our politics as much as we value our beer. That said, the effects of both politics and beer in this country are similar; it could lead to fights that are circular and tedious at best, and childish and utterly unproductive at worst. Which isn’t to say I abhor politics altogether. It just so happens that I’d rather watch than have much of a say, because I discovered that the minute you say something, you automatically take sides. And it’s never good for anybody with even an iota of journalistic training to take sides. At least, that’s what I’d like to think. Cop out? Maybe. I'm not going to defend myself. But I will say that this is why I have tried, as best as I could, to remain neutral throughout the entire political debacle that is the (automated!) elections in the Philippines this past month. Of course, there’s no way one could remain completely neutral, when clowns like Bong Revilla and Juan Ponce Enrile cling to the senate with a death grip, w...

Holy schneider. I really can’t express just how excited I am by this season of Doctor Who. A lot of people doubted Matt Smith, for good reason—David Tennant was an AWESOME Doctor. But I just finished watching the latest episode of the new serial, and I was blown away. If there was anything missing, it was the fact that this new Doctor doesn’t have as manic a laugh as Chris Ecclestein or David Tennant did, but he’s still getting into the shoes, so you never know. I mean, he doesn’t even have a catchphrase yet! The critics were right; Matt Smith might be one of the best Doctors yet!

Apparently, when people started hearing rumours about the KFC Double-Down—a chicken sandwich where the bread is made of chicken, and the filling is made of bacon—the powers that be weren’t kidding around. Now, lemme tell you something. Once upon a time, I tried a delicacy from Wendy’s that they affectionately called the Baconator, a monster of a sandwich that hit your stomach (and your arteries) as hard as Ahnuld would have hit an opposing flunky back in the day. The Baconator was really good. If I were an athlete, I’ll bet you anything that I would have been able to use every single calorie in that burger with no trouble at all.  But I’m no athlete, and I felt the hugeness of that burger eight hours after I finished eating it. It was humongous, and it knew how to make its presence felt. Now, here comes KFC with the Double-Down. Check the picture to see just how mouth-wateringly lethal this sandwich is:     Doesn’t it look deadly? There’s suppos...

Profanity follows. You have been warned. If you still feel like reading this, please—knock yourself out. Dear Cocksuckers who (supposedly) Provide me with Internet,   Firstly, I would like to congratulate you for giving me a reason to write the very first open letter in my blog. I have never openly addressed an entity, individual or otherwise, via the worldwide web aside from Twitter because I (used to) firmly believe that service problems are the kind that could easily be taken care of by the said service’s respective support team. However, during the several times that I have called you to complain about the quality of your service with my account, I have experienced the following: Annoying advertisements that SCREAM into my ear. Didn’t anybody ever teach you guys that it’s rude to shout? A service system that CONSISTENTLY times out. Either the agent cuts me off, or your system absolutely sucks. Whichever the case, you guys rock (and by rock, I mea...

Here’s a quick question: what would you do if you were a billionaire for five hours? This guy did the sensible thing (or at least I’m guessing he did): he reported the fact to the bank. We don’t often get surprises like that—more often than not, we discover that the bank actually deducts from our accounts (of course, if they deduct by the billions, that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen). But what would you have done if that were you? I like his idea of depositing it in an interest-earning account. Nobody knows if the man would have given the interest to charity, but owning a bank account that can earn a monthly, even quarterly, interest of $7M is no joke. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine and I were discussing what one should do if one actually won (sorry for the alliteration) any of the Philippine Lottery jackpots. “If you place it in a time-deposit bank account with a 6% monthly interest,” says my friend, “the jackpot prize of P10M can earn you a monthly interest of P6...

Just when I was about to say, “Hey, I’m finally blogging again!” I inexplicably stop blogging. I can explain, really. Well, not really. I blame work. Ahh, work, the universal scapegoat. Second only to life. Because when work isn’t happening, life happens. Thus, we forget to blog. Sometimes, don’t you just wish that work would just…go away? In Black Books , Bernard Black complains about all the people going into his bookstore. Bernard: Look at them. What do they want from me? Manny: Well, they want to buy books. Bernard: Yes, but why me? Why do they always come to me ?! I think anybody who’s faced the concept of a full nine-hour workday has faced this same sentiment. Unlike Bernard, though, who refuses to face the reality that he sells books for a living, the more sensible people living in the here and now know that we need to work in order to survive. But sometimes, it’s a lot easier to just ask why ?

I’m not voting, but for most of you (Pinoy) readers out there, you probably will be. So while I don’t think anybody (aside from JC de los Reyes, who probably wouldn’t win, and Mar Roxas, who decided to run for VP instead) in the presidential running deserves to get my vote, I believe that the safest candidate we have is Mr. Aquino. But he hasn’t done SHIT for our country. Has he? Goes to show what you know (and until recently, what i knew). But several friends of mine who advocate the yellow cause have pointed me to a blogger who has generously posted a quick list of Noynoy Aquino’s achievements during his stay in public service. Since, again, most of you people who’d like to vote for NoyMar but don’t know what it is they’ve achieved would probably appreciate this list, I’m reprinting it now. More after the jump. SENATOR BENIGNO “NOYNOY” S. AQUINO III ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN PUBLIC SERVICE Senator Noynoy Aquino is vigilant in his pursuit of truth, justice and freedom, the...