Friday, July 11, 2014

Four Reasons Why We’re Never Going to Improve as a People (Or Why Martin Hates Motorbikes)

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People keep looking for a better Philippines, but then they end up doing things that prevent a better Philippines from happening. And in case you didn’t get it from that first sentence, this is a post dripping in irony, sarcasm, and perhaps more than one cuss word, so I’m going to cut the article after this paragraph. You have been warned. Click on if you wish to read, or look at the pretty picture, then leave.

jesus bridge

Jesus bridge when it was being demolished. It’s better now. From Balita.

Okay, so this whole shitstorm of a post brewed in my head just the other day. See, one of the main bridges going into Pandacan—named the Jesus (HE-soos, not GEE-suhs) Bridge—is undergoing repair and reinforcement.

Now, the construction’s gotten to a point wherein people could cross through one side of the bridge. However, since the cement and all the components are still fresh and liable to break apart, motorized vehicles aren’t allowed entry through the bridge, and are advised to take the detour.

This is where it starts.

We are inherently incapable of following directions

The ramp approaching the bridge stoutly says “NO ENTRY TO MOTORIZED VEHICLES”. There were barriers keeping motorcycles and such from crossing through the bridge.

Imagine my surprise and indignation when, while I was walking home from Nagtahan, a motorbike approached the bridge. He asked (to nobody in particular) if the barriers were locked.

Then he proceeded to lift the barrier out of the way so that he could enter the bridge area, completely disregarding the motherfucking safety precautions taken by the construction workers working on the bridge.

We are incapable of listening to reason

The biggest mistake this guy did when he lifted the barriers to cross Jesus bridge (aside from disregarding the precaution signs) was to do it while I was there.

When he started to lift the barriers, I went up to him and told him that the bridge was off limits to motorbikes. The dick didn’t listen, and just kept on moving the barriers. When he was done, he slowly drove through the bridge.

I was incensed. Here, I thought, was a jerk who didn’t know how to follow directions. So I shouted at him, telling him to at least put back the damn barriers since what he was doing was essentially, oh I dunno, breaking the fucking law. If he got caught (he didn’t, the bastard), he was the one who was going to suffer.

He didn’t listen. He went to the other side of the bridge, lifted the barriers there, then drove off.

We follow people who do things—even if we shouldn’t

This wouldn’t have been so bad if it were an isolated incident. The dude may have had to go to the john really badly. He might have been crapping his pants while he was lifting the barriers (yes, they were heavy; I put them back).

But since he didn’t return them, other bikes went up the ramp to follow his lead. I was indignant, and rushed to the barriers, closing them before other bikes could follow the first three that went through.

Of course the other bikers were pissed at me, and I told them they could very well fuck off and either lift the barriers themselves when I was gone, or they could suck it up and follow the goddamned detour because that was the fucking thing they were supposed to do.

I don’t know if they waited for me to go so that they could pass through the bridge, or if they decided to take the detour. I didn’t wait to find out.

Authority figures aren’t

At the foot of the Jesus bridge is a police station. I mean, what the fuck, guys.


The moral of this story is that I hate Pinoys who think they’re better than the law, I hate motorbikers because they ALWAYS think that they’re specialized vehicles because they’re smaller (FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE), and if anybody tries to cross that bridge on a motorbike while it’s closed when I’m walking past it will be tossed head-first into the estero. Because fuck you, assholes.

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