Comfort in Nostalgia

 One of the habits my dad picked up after his lung popped was watching TV nonstop. His preferred background noise of choice was anything cable by ABS-CBN, be it ANC Live, Teleradyo, or Jeepney TV. Jeepney TV was especially one of his favorites; this cable channel featured a lot of ABS-CBN's soaps from bygone years, which he apparently enjoyed. 

I was initially surprised by his preference for this channel, since dad loved him his classic films. Before we had cable installed, we had this old VHS player and he had tapes of classic films like Casino, The Longest Day, and The Sound of Music. He would play these films repeatedly throughout the day whenever he was just at home, taking a break only in the mid-afternoon to make way for my grandmother, who would watch Eat Bulaga and the afternoon soaps that followed. There was a time when he would keep Braveheart on a loop throughout the day, much to the chagrin of whoever else wanted to watch something else. 

All of this changed only slightly with the introduction of cable TV and HBO. I say slightly because he just replaced his VHS player with HBO. Dad would switch the channel HBO and keep it playing in the background throughout the day, and while it was still sometimes a struggle whenever I wanted to switch the channel to Cartoon Network, at least some of the films were current, and we didn't mind them as much. 

But still, none of this indicated that he would later enjoy watching soap operas and comedies of bygone decades later in his life. He did enjoy watching primetime teleseryes from ABS-CBN with my mom after they heard the 6PM mass at Pandacan, which they watched from the dinner table, but we attributed this to the fact that mom enjoyed these, and he wanted to spend more quality time with her doing something that she actually loved. 

Since I worked from home, I was the one who initially looked after dad for a few months during the night while his caregiver was asleep, and one of his simple routines was to watch Jeepney TV up until it was time for the then-nigthly telecast of Bro. Jun Banaag's Dr. Love radio and TV show on DZMM Teleradyo, which he would listen to until he fell asleep. I found it amusing that he spent his days listening to TV soaps and radio talk shows via the TV, since it felt like he just replaced the radio. 

This was when an old memory of a conversation I had with dad resurfaced. He told me once, a long time ago, that back when he was a child, his babysitter whenever he was sick was the radio. My grandmother would set him up in bed, and place the transistor radio tuned in to one of the old AM radio stations beside him, and dad would listen to late morning radio shows and the midafternoon radio soaps while he was recuperating. This was usually followed by his admiration for radio actors and foley artists, who had to effect some of the most outrageous voices (for the former) and the silliest of sound effects (for the latter) to some (sometimes comedic) effect. To this day, I sometimes think about applying as a voice talent for some obscure AM radio show somewhere because of how fun he made these shows sound.

And this was probably the reason why dad, from his pneumothorax to the end of his days, watched TV soaps and talk shows most of the time. And this is also why Kapamilya Online Live feels so nostalgic. Whenever I'm listening to this channel, I'm back there, working from the living room couch, my dad in the hospital bed on one side of the living room. Not the best or least painful of memories, but there is always going to be some comfort in nostalgia.