Skip to main content

Drop Your Razors!

Movember: Let it Grow
I’ve never, ever participated in Movember, or No Shave November, whichever you want to call it, but not because I’m not sympathetic to the causes either of the two is trying to push. It’s more due to the fact that I have my own thing when it comes to growing facial hair. I can’t, for the life of me, stand my facial hair for very, very long; there will always come a point wherein my beard meets a pair of scissors somewhere down the line, and suddenly the true depth of my double chin is made visible.
I do have a couple of habits—or seasons, if you like—when it comes to trimming my ‘stache and beard, though. Right off the bat, I can name three: The Fruits of Patience, The Threat of Balance, and The Good Man.

The Good Man

As the name suggests, this phase is that phase wherein I decide to go beardless. This happens about three months out of the year, and is usually accompanied by a face filled with the many telltale bumps of a very close shave with a disposable razor.
I don’t normally like how my face looks like without facial hair. I can’t rock a five o’clock shadow as much as most people, because my facial hair, while not sparse, is spaced far from each other. So instead of my stubble looking like a shadow, I look like somebody splashed some pepper on my face.

The Threat of Balance

This phase is normally where I am for most of the year. This is where I try to grow facial hair, but go on extreme lengths to keep it all balanced. I don’t have an electric razor yet, so I do all of my trimming old-school, with a mirror, a comb, and a pair of scissors.
This phase is abominable, since it pits my OCD tendencies against my (rather limited) patience. A steady hand, I am not, and I often end up mangling my facial hair. It doesn’t help that being monocular only gives me a limited view of my face’s angles—this can be a real bitch to the process of sculpting a beard, and often frustrates me to the point that I just shave it all off (thereby leading to The Good Man phase).

The Fruits of Patience

And finally, we have this phase. This doesn’t always happen, mostly because I’m not a very patient man. But the fruits of patience is just that: the reward of having a luxurious mane of facial hair after letting the whole shebang grow untamed for at least a month.
This is not without its cons. You can’t grow facial hair from all over your face and expect to look like a man who’s out to conquer the world. In fact, you’d probably look like a caveman. Or a jihadist. Or a drunk. Either way, it’s not a very pretty picture, up until you achieve your target length.
After that, it’s just glorious. You get to trim and fix your beard and ‘stache in any style you wish. Plus you look cool. Take a look at George R.R. Martin, for example. Nobody’s going to take him seriously without that mane around his chin.
But the whole point of this post is that I’m going to try Movember this month. And NaNoWriMo, but that’s another story altogether. The point is, I’m not going to shave at all. For a month. Which should be pretty awkward, since I’ve got two conventions scheduled, but well, that’s the way it is.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Maynilad Water Chronicles: The Clusterf$%#, Part 2

This is the third post in our Maynilad Water chronicles. This time, we will talk about just how inept their record keeping skills are in the face of a massive overhaul in a given area. This involves a technique used by Meralco in high-risk areas called clustering, and is efficient – if utilized correctly. Needless to say, Maynilad has yet to be able to do this.

Clarity in Three Parts

i Maraming beses na kitang nilayasan Iniwanan at iba ang pinuntahan Parang babaeng mahirap talagang malimutan Ikaw lamang ang aking laging binabalikan Manila, Manila I keep coming back to Manila Simply no place like Manila Manila, I'm coming home I walked the streets of San Francisco I've tried the rides in Disneyland Dated a million girls in Sydney Somehow I feel like I don't belong Hinahanap-hanap kita Manila Ang ingay mong kay sarap sa tenga Mga Jeepney mong nagliliparan Mga babae mong naggagandahan Take me back in your arms Manila And promise me you'll never let go Promise me you'll never let go Manila, Manila Miss you like hell, Manila No place in the world like Manila I'm coming here to stay ii. Too, uh, cheesy to mention. Check the lyrics here . iii. I've been drunk or inebriated every day of this week since Saturday last week; since I'm holding an inuman party

Manila Series: Parks of Manila

The other day, I read the post of a friend who was ranting about how Manila can only be beautiful when seen from a specific light. I could understand what he means, because Manila is the center of traffic in the NCR. The poor are here in full force, the most corrupt policemen are here, and honestly, there is no discipline whatsoever. But here’s something that I’ve discovered. You walk Manila. You don't drive it. It isn't the most walkable city in the world, but what can be seen when you do walk it is fantastic. And when you walk around the city, you don’t encounter the corrupt cops (because they’re going after the drivers), you don’t deal with traffic. You can’t do anything about the poor, though. Unless they’re doing something productive, and not just begging, I avoid them. If they’re cleaning up trash, or something similar, then I give them cash.