The Fat Man Today

Holy schneider. I really can’t express just how excited I am by this season of Doctor Who. A lot of people doubted Matt Smith, for good reason—David Tennant was an AWESOME Doctor. But I just finished watching the latest episode of the new serial, and I was blown away. If there was anything missing, it was the fact that this new Doctor doesn’t have as manic a laugh as Chris Ecclestein or David Tennant did, but he’s still getting into the shoes, so you never know. I mean, he doesn’t even have a catchphrase yet! The critics were right; Matt Smith might be one of the best Doctors yet!

Apparently, when people started hearing rumours about the KFC Double-Down—a chicken sandwich where the bread is made of chicken, and the filling is made of bacon—the powers that be weren’t kidding around. Now, lemme tell you something. Once upon a time, I tried a delicacy from Wendy’s that they affectionately called the Baconator, a monster of a sandwich that hit your stomach (and your arteries) as hard as Ahnuld would have hit an opposing flunky back in the day. The Baconator was really good. If I were an athlete, I’ll bet you anything that I would have been able to use every single calorie in that burger with no trouble at all.  But I’m no athlete, and I felt the hugeness of that burger eight hours after I finished eating it. It was humongous, and it knew how to make its presence felt. Now, here comes KFC with the Double-Down. Check the picture to see just how mouth-wateringly lethal this sandwich is:     Doesn’t it look deadly? There’s suppos...

Profanity follows. You have been warned. If you still feel like reading this, please—knock yourself out. Dear Cocksuckers who (supposedly) Provide me with Internet,   Firstly, I would like to congratulate you for giving me a reason to write the very first open letter in my blog. I have never openly addressed an entity, individual or otherwise, via the worldwide web aside from Twitter because I (used to) firmly believe that service problems are the kind that could easily be taken care of by the said service’s respective support team. However, during the several times that I have called you to complain about the quality of your service with my account, I have experienced the following: Annoying advertisements that SCREAM into my ear. Didn’t anybody ever teach you guys that it’s rude to shout? A service system that CONSISTENTLY times out. Either the agent cuts me off, or your system absolutely sucks. Whichever the case, you guys rock (and by rock, I mea...

Here’s a quick question: what would you do if you were a billionaire for five hours? This guy did the sensible thing (or at least I’m guessing he did): he reported the fact to the bank. We don’t often get surprises like that—more often than not, we discover that the bank actually deducts from our accounts (of course, if they deduct by the billions, that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen). But what would you have done if that were you? I like his idea of depositing it in an interest-earning account. Nobody knows if the man would have given the interest to charity, but owning a bank account that can earn a monthly, even quarterly, interest of $7M is no joke. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine and I were discussing what one should do if one actually won (sorry for the alliteration) any of the Philippine Lottery jackpots. “If you place it in a time-deposit bank account with a 6% monthly interest,” says my friend, “the jackpot prize of P10M can earn you a monthly interest of P6...