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Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity

Otherwise known as G.I. Joe. After the blockbuster hit that was the Transformers movie (I know you didn't like it, Louie), Hasbro decides to cash in on yet another of its longest running line of action figures, and turns the G.I. Joe franchise into a live action movie.

Now, while 80's kids spent the months before Transformers' release waiting on tenterhooks for the result of Michael Bay's rendition of the old cartoon, the actual film, while it wasn't what you'd call perfect, was a passable action flick that did nothing to ruin the memories of folks my age worldwide.

The premise of the G.I. Joe movie, on the other hand, literally snatches the story of the old cartoon series and reworks it from the ground up. The group is now an international task force, based in Brussels, Belgium, thus the name. God only knows if Cobra Commander'd even be there.

(For the benefit of the uninitiated, GI Joes actually refer to government issued 'joes,' or soldiers, which can be used both as a moniker and as a term meant to ridicule American soldiers, an act especially rampant in American-occupied countries, back in the days of WWII and the Vietnam War.)

If that isn't raping the collective childhood of a multitude of 80's kids (to use Rayne Summers' words), then I don't know what is. The only saving grace the film has, from what I can see, is that Stephen Sommers is the guy directing it.

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