Monday, April 12, 2010

The New Doctor Who


Holy schneider. I really can’t express just how excited I am by this season of Doctor Who. A lot of people doubted Matt Smith, for good reason—David Tennant was an AWESOME Doctor.

But I just finished watching the latest episode of the new serial, and I was blown away. If there was anything missing, it was the fact that this new Doctor doesn’t have as manic a laugh as Chris Ecclestein or David Tennant did, but he’s still getting into the shoes, so you never know.

I mean, he doesn’t even have a catchphrase yet!

The critics were right; Matt Smith might be one of the best Doctors yet!

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Holy Heart Attack, Batman


Apparently, when people started hearing rumours about the KFC Double-Down—a chicken sandwich where the bread is made of chicken, and the filling is made of bacon—the powers that be weren’t kidding around.

Now, lemme tell you something. Once upon a time, I tried a delicacy from Wendy’s that they affectionately called the Baconator, a monster of a sandwich that hit your stomach (and your arteries) as hard as Ahnuld would have hit an opposing flunky back in the day.

The Baconator was really good. If I were an athlete, I’ll bet you anything that I would have been able to use every single calorie in that burger with no trouble at all.  But I’m no athlete, and I felt the hugeness of that burger eight hours after I finished eating it.

It was humongous, and it knew how to make its presence felt.

Now, here comes KFC with the Double-Down. Check the picture to see just how mouth-wateringly lethal this sandwich is:

 doubledown_hdr

 

Doesn’t it look deadly? There’s supposed to be a grilled version, but I’m not too sure if local stores will carry those (I’m not even sure if local stores will even carry the item, really).

Now, it has less calories than most of the other big burgers out there (less than the Angry Whopper, definitely), so it might not actually be that bad for you, even if you’re no athlete. But the salt content is enough to put your kidneys on a fix. I think that when I do try to eat this, I’ll be chewing on it for half a day, then revert back to a purely vegetable-based diet (or if worse comes to worst, steamed fish-based) for the rest of the day just to make up for the salt.

You can read more about it on this post.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Open Letter to Smart Broadband


Profanity follows. You have been warned. If you still feel like reading this, please—knock yourself out.

Dear Cocksuckers who (supposedly) Provide me with Internet,

 

Firstly, I would like to congratulate you for giving me a reason to write the very first open letter in my blog. I have never openly addressed an entity, individual or otherwise, via the worldwide web aside from Twitter because I (used to) firmly believe that service problems are the kind that could easily be taken care of by the said service’s respective support team.

However, during the several times that I have called you to complain about the quality of your service with my account, I have experienced the following:

  • Annoying advertisements that SCREAM into my ear. Didn’t anybody ever teach you guys that it’s rude to shout?
  • A service system that CONSISTENTLY times out. Either the agent cuts me off, or your system absolutely sucks. Whichever the case, you guys rock (and by rock, I mean you suck).
  • Annoying advertisements that SCREAM into my ear.
  • A technical support team that is composed of an arrogant bastard and his twin brother who doesn’t even show his face, contenting himself with sitting outside, on his bike, smoking a cigarette. Or mentally masturbating. In any case, he is a disgrace to society.

How difficult is it for me, an end user, to ask for a new radio antenna and several feet of new copper cables? Isn’t that what we’re paying you guys to provide us with? Isn’t that why, for PhP999.00, your supposedly able technicians will risk life and limb to climb up to our roof, replace the radio antenna, roll out a few feet of cable?

If you didn’t think that 999 was a good asking price to require such heroic feats of service (which is what your service technicians apparently consider them to be, after observing the hesitation in your crew’s faces when I asked them to climb up to the roof), then maybe you should have considered that back when you were thinking of providing Internet service in the first place.

To end this letter, I would like to inform you, Smart Broadband, subsidiary of the Philippine Long Distance Telecommunications Corporation (PLDT), that I will be researching for other ISPs that don’t suffer from such HORRIBLE SERVICE. Fuck you, Smart Bro. You just broke the bro code, and will be losing a customer in the process.

 

Sincerely,

Your Ass.

Friday, April 02, 2010

That’s a Lot of Money


Here’s a quick question: what would you do if you were a billionaire for five hours?

This guy did the sensible thing (or at least I’m guessing he did): he reported the fact to the bank.

We don’t often get surprises like that—more often than not, we discover that the bank actually deducts from our accounts (of course, if they deduct by the billions, that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen).

But what would you have done if that were you?

I like his idea of depositing it in an interest-earning account. Nobody knows if the man would have given the interest to charity, but owning a bank account that can earn a monthly, even quarterly, interest of $7M is no joke.

As a matter of fact, a friend of mine and I were discussing what one should do if one actually won (sorry for the alliteration) any of the Philippine Lottery jackpots.

“If you place it in a time-deposit bank account with a 6% monthly interest,” says my friend, “the jackpot prize of P10M can earn you a monthly interest of P600,000.”

And the 10M is tax-free. That’s insane.

That, my friend, is a lot of money. A LOT of money. Now, how to make that 10M—that’s a completely different ballgame altogether.