Monday, February 09, 2009

Jigsaw Puzzle




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Mufflednoise posted something really nice and thought-provoking earlier, and that got me thinking a bit.

Today was a pretty decent day, despite the fact that the upstairs bathrooms were clogged beyond belief yet again. A nice, if short, morning conversation with Nina; then there was Amari's first birthday party; mass with Jon at St. Andrew's Church in Kalayaan; then a couple of beers with Abbey, Obi and Jon afterwards at WG Diner.

Throughout the day, there were subtle hints thrown at each of us that many, many things were changing. First was that odd conversation I had with Abbey and Obi during the birthday party at Bubba Gump: that in ten years' time, this was going to be us holding birthdays for our own kids. Obi rolled his eyes on this one (something of a private joke between us friends), but if things keep on going the way they are for all of us, that's probably how it's going to be. Probably being the operative word, but possibilities are powerful things.

Then of course, there was the rather pedestrian yet somewhat (to me) mature thing like hearing mass the way you're supposed to hear mass. In the past, whenever my friends and I end up hearing mass together, we'd stay outside so that we can still muck about with each other, share a good laugh and giggle like a gaggle of geese without disturbing the rest of the parishioners with our noise. Today, I strolled to the church ahead of Jon, waited for the previous service to finish, and queued for a seat just so that we could hear the mass from within the church. The bizarre thing is that it sounds like something my parents would do, not me (although I never missed Sunday mass while I was living alone down south, so that may count for something).

And finally, during beers and a late dinner (for some) at WG Diner afterwards, we discussed business opportunities, work, and relationships (we're past calling them love lives, I'd imagine). I had problems with getting my finances straight enough so I could start really researching on the business(es) that I might want to put up. Abbey's just moved places, is still living independently, and slowly trying to make her life more organized. Obi's focus on work hasn't wavered even one bit - he's even learned several new skills in order to maximize the opportunities he has on his plate. And Jon's finally starting to face his own demons - albeit in a rather roundabout way, but hey. Baby steps.

And the most amazing thing about the entire night was that I had no more than two beers.

Two beers. Me. Mr. drink more than your mind could possibly fathom. Me, the guy who's been trying to put some distance between him and his alcohol-laden past but has only recently been succeeding. Me, the guy who, during his first drunken night, slept in a park at twelve midnight because he finished half a bottle of Emperador brandy in one swig. Two bloody beers.

While we were walking after the beers, the irony of all these things hit me, and I told Jon that damn, we weren't even close to the woods yet, but man were we getting old. And it made me reexamine where I am right now, for a few moments during the ride home, and consider everything that's gone right, and everything that's gone wrong.

Any moron could probably tell you that more things went wrong than right. So it goes, Kurt Vonnegut says.

But you know, while everything hasn't exactly been peachy in how things are going, I'm pretty happy where I am now. Out-of-post-puberty but not really in that zone of self-independence yet. It's like you've got a jigsaw puzzle and a jigsaw knife that lets you fix how the pieces fit, and you don't know just how fugly that picture'll be after all of your incisions, but for some reason, the way the pieces have fit together recently just fit nicely. And it gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, not unlike heartburn or indigestion, only less unpleasant.

I have this nervous habit of not pointing out the good things that happen lest I end up wrecking the karmic balance of things that ensure bad shit don't happen again (dream on kiddo), so I'll leave you guys with the statement that yes, I had a pretty decent weekend, and I hope you had a pretty decent weekend as well.

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