Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The Dangers of Living in the Internet

Today, social media - and social networking - dominates the online landscape. This is great, since it facilitates conversation, makes collaboration easier, and virtually cuts the distance between you and your loved ones.

But there are dangers. Oh yes, there are dangers. Let's look at them one by one:

1. The very first danger of social media is that you're exposing yourself to people. Even if you set your accounts to the highest levels of privacy, the administrators will still know when you're complaining about your cat retching on the carpet, or when your dinner gave you the runs. So share responsibly: Ted from Silicon Valley might be compiling a dossier of your bathroom habits as we speak.

2. Speaking of bathroom habits - who's to say that the guy you're talking to on chat isn't taking a massive #2 while he's replying to your question about the existential properties of the upcoming Chris Nolan film?

3. And speaking of films - the availability of online streaming is great for everybody - unless you're the guy who has to work late when that latest episode of Suits comes out, and everybody else has seen it except you. Now you have to filter out the spoilers, suck up the fact that you're going to be spoiled, or avoid social media up until you've seen the episode. Meanwhile, curse your so-called friends under your breath for now.

4. Memes. Oh god, make them stop. The good ones are great. The crazy ones are a mixed bad. But the bad ones...are just really, really terrible. And the last type of memes dominates the worldwide web.

5. Family and their antics. Ever had an aunt post a naked baby picture of you on Facebook for everyone to see? Yeah.

And you thought you were safe online. But the fact is, on the Internet, no one can hear you scream.

Unless you were on VoIP.

Friday, August 15, 2014

A (Short) Letter to Our Dear Leader

Dear President Noy,

Ever since the Yolanda debacle, I've been of the opinion that you're an incompetent nincompoop with the inability to make strong-willed decisions. But having said that, I've no problem letting you finish your term in peace, because of the following reasons:

1. Kicking you out of office will likely put a majority of your projects in a standstill. That's a lot of money down the drain, especially since you've spent trillions on 'em.

2. With the exception of erecting more bloody highways throughout Manila (really?), some of your projects were good-intentioned.

3. Seriously, if we have another people power revolt, this country's going down the drain.

But let's stop talking about changing the charter so that you can run a second term, yes? If your mother were alive, she'd have smacked your bottom for even thinking it.

Stop with the stupidity, eh?

The Fat Man

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Monsoon Madness #1

I generally dislike rain. I made the mistake of thinking that I could learn to like it back when I was much younger - rain being a romantic thing close to the heart of many an artist and all. This is the part where you laugh at the stupidity of that notion.

Man, did I suck as a kid. Not only was I mistaken in thinking of rain as a conduit for the creative energies, but I was also wrong in thinking that I could like the damnable weather. You'd think that dealing with a school bag sopping wet after a downpour, with the contents soaked to uselessness, would be enough to snap me out of my delusions, but no. I suffered initially with braving the weather since I despised bringing umbrellas into enclosed spaces, then I dealt with bringing umbrellas, unweildy as they may be. Today, I usually face the rain with my bag's interior wrapped in garbage bags, slippers (since I cannot stand wet socks) or shoes with a very good water seal, a jacket, a cap, and an umbrella.

All that hard work just to stay relatively dry, which usually doesn't happen anyway. DAMN THE RAIN.

Times like these, I wish elemental bending were an actual thing. I actually don't quite understand why they don't bend rain in Avatar: the Last Airbender or in Legend of Korra. I appreciate that a torrent of water falling on your opponent's head would be worse than, say, getting drenched by a shower, but there're times when some of the benders would probably just want to annoy the hell out of their opponents and drizzle on them, say, while in hiding.

See, this post was initially about Korra. The current season is taking shape really well, and while I can understand Nickelodeon's reason for moving the show from cable to the Internet, I still don't think that they're doing the show enough justice, marketing-wise. But see, it's been raining really bad in Manila the past few days, due to the monsoon, and I've not had a dry day. I've even resorted to walking the dog in the rain (she doesn't mind it until the rain comes down in torrents).

Here's to hoping to a few dry days in the future. Because damn it, I really, really hate the rain.